Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have and What To Do About It

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website here.

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website.

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is YouTube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you.

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

Client’s Love & Relationship Question

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LOVE & RELATIONSHIP QUESTION

A client the other day asked me why her relationship not working out if she and her love interest had so much in common.

The answers I received from spirit were two-fold.  One, soul connections are brought into our lives and there is often a purpose to it.  You may pick up on the uniqueness of the connection, however that doesn’t mean it will work out forever, or “til death do you part”.  Sometimes you learn something from them and move on.  Both partners need to work through their issues.  Spirit showed me paths splitting due to a fork in the road; in other words your life paths may not be parallel for the rest of your lives and it can cause a struggle or feeling of incompleteness later in the relationship.  Some couples, including soul connections & Soul Mates, are short term for various reasons.  The second message I received was to discuss my parents.  My parents have been married over 51 years and still going strong.  They are almost complete opposites; one extremely logical and the other very good at expressing her emotions.  In some ways they make up for what the other lacks and can be a very good paring.  Sometimes they don’t understand each other at all, but they accept it, or ask their children what the other means as we have become translators for each side.  They make it work doing their own thing as they are very independent people with unique interests.

Society today, probably because of movies and other forms of entertainment, make us feel that we are to match up and be completely like our mate, however 50+ years ago the opposite was believed.  The full spectrum of similarities and differences can work out potentially.  If you have differences, great!  That could make it interesting for you and they can turn out to be helpful to you in the future.

Need more advice?  Check out my website www.feathersinfinity.com for readings and healing.

Ending Negative Relationship Cycles you Feel Stuck In

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Are you seeing cycles or patterns in your relationship that don’t seem to stop no matter what you do? Do you feel chained to someone with no relief in sight?  You may have a karmic debt with this person.  We can have many past lives with someone, and when you feel you are in a negative cycle with someone that you feel you can’t get out of, then it would be a good idea to cut the cords to the past.  This stops the negative cycles with someone and that chained feeling, not necessarily your relationship with the person.

How to cut cords to the past:
-Close your eyes
-Take three deep breaths
-Go up into space and pretend you are meeting God, in an area where there is only light
-Ask God to cut any past negative karmic cords you have with that person
-Give it some time to work, wait for a warming or tingling sensation to end
-When you feel or think it is complete you can open your eyes

This will cut any past negative karmic cords or debt you have with this person and the seemingly unending cycles of grief, sorrow and control can end.

If you need more help with your relationship or healing, please feel free to visit my website, www.feathersinfinity.com and sign up for a theta healing session with me.

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Sexual Fears

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Many of us have had multiple past lives, and often times have been both genders. You don’t have to go too far in the past on earth to see that women were not treated that well in the bedroom or outside of it. Chances are high you probably did not have great sexual experiences in your past lives (or even this one for that matter). On top of that, if you were a woman in a past life you very well could have had a miscarriage or died during childbirth.

So you know you have some fears in that area, what can you do about it?

Sex, childbirth and gender issues (as well as relationship issues) tend to be centered around the sacral charka, or abdominal area. Now if we are talking about death during childbirth or a violation sexually, then that is Root chakra, or safety. The root chakra is best described as the area at the base of your spine. I would recommend healing both of these chakras at the same time for sexual issues.

The color for sacral chakra is orange and coordinates with sunstone, orange calcite, or copper. Moonstone is great on this area as well. The color for root chakra is red. My favorites are red tiger eye, and red jasper (some black stones are excellent as well such as black tourmaline, onyx, and obsidian. Black is usually grounding stones. Steer clear of “magic” stones such as Merlinite and Nummite.).  Red tiger eye is best for sexual issues including arousal.

Ask God to send you healers to best help heal your past life and current life sexual issues. You can be more specific if you’d like or keep it general. If you are not comfortable with talking to God, I recommend asking Archangel Raphael and Jesus or Mary or Buddha. Then meditate with the crystals listed above and/or concentrate on orange and red.

Affirmations:

Affirmations said out loud or written down are extremely useful and quick way to open and heal your chakras. Say or write down three times for intention.

Sacral: “I relate to others with ease” (3x)

Root: “I am safe and protected” (3x)

For more advice, see my website, www.feathersinfinity.com.

This blog is provided completely for free.  Any ads go to wordpress not myself.  If you like the advice and would like to see it continue, please feel free to sponsor this blog using Paypal here. Disclaimer

In a controlling or manipulative relationship?

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Many controlling relationships are to teach us to stand up for ourselves, that we have worth/deserve what we really want, and, you guessed it, to love ourselves. Why do you feel that you can’t stand up for yourself? Why did you get into the relationship to begin with? I’ve spoken to many women in the same position, and much of the time it is because they don’t have a job, fears of losing money/home, fears of arguments/separation going horribly wrong or because of kids. If they think they have something over you, they can use that against you, either directly spoken or indirectly implied. Sometimes it may all be in your mind, because of beliefs or fears in your subconscious/conscious. Whatever the reason is, it’s time to work on your solar plexus, and probably your throat chakra as well.

The Solar Plexus is right around your stomach (many people with control or manipulation issues have stomach issues such as overeating, anorexia, bulimia or addiction issues). The chakra color is yellow, so meditating with yellow stones such as citrine, yellow calcite, and angel wing calcite helps. You can also visualize yellow when you meditate. Ask your angels, ascended masters (Jesus, Mary, Buddha, etc) and/or God to help heal your solar plexus issues while meditating, in both past lives and current life.  If you don’t meditate, ask them to heal you overnight.

The throat chakra is at the bottom of your throat, and when out of balance you either don’t speak up enough or you talk too much. Similarly, someone who is overly controlling to others can have an out of balance solar plexus chakra. Do the same meditation and healing for the throat as you did for the solar plexus but with blue stones/crystals or by visualizing blue.

When you are being controlled it is often because you don’t love yourself enough to stand up for yourself, or you feel you can’t because of money, children, fear of change, etc. Each of these may be linked to subconscious fears, past lives or other levels best healed with Theta Healing. Feel free to contact me at www.feathersinfinity.com for a theta healing session.

Affirmations:

You can also heal your chakras by saying affirmations three times to yourself (saying them out loud or writing them down is best)

Solar Plexus Chakra Affirmation: “I Stand in My Unique Power.” (3x)

Throat Chakra Affirmation: “I Express My Truth” (3x)

An excellent book that I still refer to is “The Book of Chakra Healing” by Liz Simpson. It includes colors, yoga moves, crystals, archetypes, and affirmations for each chakra. The only thing she doesn’t include is sound frequencies to heal/clear chakras. There may be other resources for sound frequency healing using crystal bowls, tuning forks, and gongs to name a few.

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Stop the Relationship Patterns!

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Do you see patterns play over and over again in your life, particularly with one person?  I noticed something that happened in all my relationships, including with my soul mate, so I used a ritual taught to me by an akashic record expert.  I asked God to tell my soul mate’s guardian angels that I was sorry if I did (the pattern) to them in any life we had together, and that I forgive myself and I forgive that person.  Then the pattern stopped.  If you see patterns in your relationships, I would recommend using this method to stop that pattern so you can move on with your life.  You don’t have to suffer.  Best of luck!  Want more advice?  I am a Psychic Medium and offer psychic mediumship readings day or night.  Visit my website at www.feathersinfinity.com.  Look forward to speaking with you!

Want a reading or healing from me?  Find my rates at www.feathersinfinity.com.

Do You Feel Like You Do All the Giving?

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Do you feel like you do all the giving in your relationship?  Well, you may be with someone who is comfortable with receiving, but not really in giving back.  A lot of times, some of us are raised to think it is better to give than receive and get to the point in our lives where we feel guilty for receiving.  Then the people we are paired with have gotten comfortable with receiving and may even be dependant on those that give too much because they never learned to take care of themselves.  When you have a giving and receiving imbalance resentment can build but also the giver can feel drained after a time.  Instead of trying to change the other person, I would ask your angels to help you receive more in your life.  Your angels can help you receive more in your life from other places to help you feel less drained.  Waiting for your partner, parent, friend or sibling to give more might take a while, or not happen at all, take care of yourself now and ask for assistance from the universe.  When the gifts come, be sure to receive them openly.  I have other hints and tricks to help you feel less drained and more balanced everday.  Check it out on the readings and healings page : http://www.feathersinfinity.com/readings-healing.html

Want a reading or healing from me?  Find my rates at www.feathersinfinity.com.

This blog is provided completely for free.  Any ads go to wordpress not myself.  If you like the advice and would like to see it continue, please feel free to sponsor this blog using Paypal here. Disclaimer

Cut Cords

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Do you feel like you can’t get over someone even though they may not be good for you? Do you feel like every time you try to move on you feel like you can’t?  You may have spiritual cords connected to your ex lover, ex husband, or even ex friends.  You will need to cut these cords to feel some real relief and be able to move on in your life without looking back.  We can have cords with all different kinds of people in our lives, such as teachers, bosses, and parents.  If you are trying to separate yourself and feel like you can’t, or someone else’s emotions are affecting you at seemingly random moments of the day, then seek out someone certified in energy healing to remove these for you.  I provide these services over distance as well if you are not in the Dallas area.  Feel free to visit my website http://www.feathersinfinity.com/readings-healing.html for my reading and energy healing rates.

This blog is provided completely for free.  Any ads go to wordpress not myself.  If you like the advice and would like to see it continue, please feel free to sponsor this blog using Paypal here. Disclaimer