What if the One you thought would work out, didn’t?

I receive many calls from those who received signs that their romantic interest or boyfriend is someone special (222, soul mates, twin flames) often times having deep feelings for them, premonitions and other signs that they are spiritually connected or “meant to be”. In many of these readings their feelings that this is a special connection is true.

The hard message to deliver to clients is that many times one or both of them are not ready for the relationship or do not have the social skills to deal with the relationship (dealing with conflict, intensity of feelings). In a recent reading I relayed to my client from those crossed over that relationships are not just about soul connections, you have to make the relationship work in this life and often times that is psychology, empathy or behavior. We can have past lives with them that didn’t work as well, to have a soul mate connection does not guarantee success in any life. Sometimes that is not your fault but the other party’s. You were receiving signs that this person is special and to proceed but do be aware that that can lead to a spiritual awakening for one or both of you, a learning experience or a calling to heal, rather than a successful long lasting relationship. If it does end or if you are going through problems I recommend healing what you can in yourself and giving your worries to the divine. I do provide healing under the energy healing section. That can improve the relationship or help you move on to someone better depending on the situation. Many of these soul mate connections failed in their past lives, know that it can also crumble in this life. The BEST you can do is improve upon yourself in areas you want to improve, be honest with yourself and try to see from other peoples’ perspective here. Then give the relationship to the divine as they have the wisdom to take you or the relationship to a better place.

From the perspective of someone that has met with multiple soul mates in this lifetime including a twin flame, I can tell you you have more than one soul mate, so release the worry and fear of scarcity, move forward with the positive belief that another will find you.

Need additional help? I do readings full time, click on the toolbar above to schedule your next reading. Every situation is different!

Why is he not calling and what you can do about it. Attachment Theory

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Are you stuck in an unequal relationship that displays any of these characteristics:

– He doesn’t follow up with contact
– He doesn’t initiate enough or give you enough attention
– He isn’t expressing his feelings but you can tell he has them
– You find yourself in cycles of push/pull, hot/cold, chase/run

I highly recommend this book on attachment theory. It discusses each of the types and how to best deal with their behaviorial issues.

It talks about both perspectives, why you are stuck having feelings for this person who doesnt give you enough love back and why they are pulling away, occasionally coming back to string you along. While there may be deeper metaphysical issues as well which we can discuss in a reading here : www.feathersinfinity.com, this book does give some great pointers on what to heal as well as how to react to your love interest. Sometimes knowing why they are acting this way helps us to react less emotionally and take it less personally.

The books discusses 3 types, the anxious, the stable and the avoidant.

In summary (we can be a mix of any 3 of these):

  • The anxious – This person is always wondering why he doesnt call, why he doesnt initiate the dates or contact enough, and feels they are constantly chasing someone who does not show enough appreciation for them. However they find themselves in love with the other party, stuck in an unending cycle, hoping he’ll change. Often times lack of action from their love interest ruins their day or part of their day and can be a source of anxiety for the person.
  • Avoidant – An avoidant personality wants to maintain their independence, is afraid of getting hurt but tries not to show it, and often pulls away for a time until they miss a person and then pop back into the love interests life when they feel ready. They are consistantly inconsistant, they think people should hide their emotions and have difficulty expressing themselves. They have deep feelings too but try to push them away and control them due to lack of trust.
  • Stable – This is the personality type that we hope to achieve, a good balance of empathy to know when your partner needs affection and attention, expressing their own emotions and is able to be more vulnerable on a healthy way with their partner. Stable people can be with all 3 personalities because they have the wisdom and empathy to understand the others’ point of view and can tend to their needs without as much emotional turmoil.

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The Past is not your Future

As you can probably imagine I get a lot of calls at this time of the year, being the new year. People usually want to know if some aspect of their life is better than the year past. Before I get to the main point of this article I do want to say to not wait for the beginning of every year to make your life better. Everyday you can do something that makes you happy. Try your best not to rely on others to make you happy but to do the things that move you or motivate you. Whether that’s playing a game on your cell, watch your favorite TV show, cooking/baking something, taking a walk in the park, going to the zoo, or anything else that makes you happy. Start today, don’t wait for the next month or the beginning of the year to have your happiness or results.  You CAN make yourself happy now.

The main reason for this article was to address something I commonly hear and to give you the advice I received from the other side. Someone mentioned that they hadn’t dated anyone for years and they couldn’t believe that they would have more than one romantic option in 2018.  The answer that I heard from the other side was the future is not your past. Which is very true. Just because it hasn’t happened for the past 5 years does not mean it’s not going to happen this year. Especially if you’ve been working on yourself, you’ve had some sort of Spiritual Awakening, or you’ve done some energy healing on yourself, you can certainly change your vibrations and what you’re bringing to you. So know that the past is not your future and just because it was a pattern in the past doesn’t mean it’s going to happen in your future.

Have a happy and healthy 2018!