Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have and What to do about it

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website: www.mediumandreaknight.com

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website. www.mediumandreaknight.com

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is youtube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you. Www.mediumandreaknight.com

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

What if the One you thought would work out, didn’t?

I receive many calls from those who received signs that their romantic interest or boyfriend is someone special (222, soul mates, twin flames) often times having deep feelings for them, premonitions and other signs that they are spiritually connected or “meant to be”. In many of these readings their feelings that this is a special connection is true.

The hard message to deliver to clients is that many times one or both of them are not ready for the relationship or do not have the social skills to deal with the relationship (dealing with conflict, intensity of feelings). In a recent reading I relayed to my client from those crossed over that relationships are not just about soul connections, you have to make the relationship work in this life and often times that is psychology, empathy or behavior. We can have past lives with them that didn’t work as well, to have a soul mate connection does not guarantee success in any life. Sometimes that is not your fault but the other party’s. You were receiving signs that this person is special and to proceed but do be aware that that can lead to a spiritual awakening for one or both of you, a learning experience or a calling to heal, rather than a successful long lasting relationship. If it does end or if you are going through problems I recommend healing what you can in yourself and giving your worries to the divine. I do provide healing under the energy healing section. That can improve the relationship or help you move on to someone better depending on the situation. Many of these soul mate connections failed in their past lives, know that it can also crumble in this life. The BEST you can do is improve upon yourself in areas you want to improve, be honest with yourself and try to see from other peoples’ perspective here. Then give the relationship to the divine as they have the wisdom to take you or the relationship to a better place.

From the perspective of someone that has met with multiple soul mates in this lifetime including a twin flame, I can tell you you have more than one soul mate, so release the worry and fear of scarcity, move forward with the positive belief that another will find you.

Need additional help? I do readings full time, click on the toolbar above to schedule your next reading. Every situation is different!

Random Anxious Feelings

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Do you feel anxious, scared or upset and don’t know why?  Do you have this lump or energy in your throat and don’t know why you feel this way and want it to go away?  Chances are you are not feeling your own emotions but someone else’s.  There are spiritual linkages called cords that connect us to those that we care about as well as those that we haven’t met yet but share a soul connection with.  You can ask your angels to release these cords from you or you can seek out an energy healer to help you with them.  You may need to do some healing on the past associated with those individuals, which energy healers can help with as well.  I usually recommend Theta healing for mind, body and spiritual healing, as it can address core, genetic, past life and soul level pain.  If you are feeling these symptoms of distress or anxiety and you don’t know why you are having them chances are you are feeling someone else’s energy and need cords cut.  I can always help you out or you can ask your angels to help out, such as Archangel Michael, Kam or Gabriel.  Visit my site at http://www.feathersinfinity.com.

Angel Signs and Messages