Soul Mates and the Stages of Grief

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Sometimes all you have to do is go through a rejection by someone in order to enter into a grieving period. Many of my clients have been rejected by those they feel are either their soulmates or twin flames. I’ve noticed that many people go through the stages of grief when they are rejected by someone they are attracted to, interested in or in love with. The problem is I don’t think they recognize that are going through the stages, instead they’re just feeling they’re emotions and reacting.

The denial stage is obvious. It’s essentially when you’re in denial and you can’t believe what just happened to you. Sometimes there’s a shock stage before denial but the denial stage is very real. It prevents you from seeing what is really happening, often times our ego wall might come up and we won’t see from the other person’s perspective. Next comes anger which is usually from being in a place of the ego reacting to getting rejected and trying to make up another story (they have issues, it is their fault, something is wrong with them) as well as lashing out at whoever rejected you. This can be in varying degrees, some people may not get that angry and instead get sad (low self esteem) and some people might start thinking about revenge. Bargaining comes around when someone often thinks that this is the only one they have a chance to be with or they’re not going to find someone else that they have a strong feelings for, which is not true, we have multiple soul mates. This can be a very embarrassing, uncomfortable stage that I don’t wish on anyone. They may turn to God or psychics for extreme solutions that they may feel embarrassed about later or when they realize what they asked for or tried to do. During this stage I will often put them in their love-interest shoes. I ask them how would you like it if somebody tried to force you to love them using God or spirits if you were not initially interested? They all calm down at that point and answer that they wouldn’t like it very much. It is an eye opener.

Then I usually share with them a more realistic solution. There’s some excellent books out there such as “The Like Button” that tells you how to gradually get somebody to be more comfortable in your presence or be curious about you. A lot of times this is just being around them, being in the same room, not necessarily always talking to them. A great way to explain this is to use the example of a deer and a bunny in a prairie. When the bunny first enters the prairie the deer might get spooked and run off. Overtime the bunny continues to enter the prairie but stays at a distance, not threatening the deer. This lets the deer know that the bunny is not dangerous because over time the bunny is not actually doing anything harmful. Slowly, the bunny can get closer without spooking the deer. I highly recommend “The Like Button” as well as Dale Carnegie’s “How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Some people may get spooked when you first show that you’re interested in them but it is possible to come back in a less scary manner and over time they can become curious about you, and more comfortable around you. You may become friends or you may become something more, this may just depend on a number of variables on both sides.

If you feel like you’re going through any of these stages of grief I highly recommend that you go through a healing process where you can get to the acceptance stage. I usually call an ascended Master such as Jesus, Mary, or Buddha as well as Archangel Artiya’il while laying down on my bed and ask them to help me get to the acceptance stage with whatever I’m struggling with at that time. Wait and feel much of the healing at the bottom of your lungs to clear before returning to your day.  When the soreness or feeling in your lungs dissipate the healing is done.  This can help push you past the stages of bargaining, anger and depression and into a more peaceful place. When you get to this peaceful place you no longer feel this urge or anguish over wanting to change the situation at any means possible. The sadness and depression go away. Then you’re more open to other options and no longer have that heart block that prevents you from seeing them or considering them.

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Psychic Medium Andrea