Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have and What To Do About It

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website here.

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website.

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is YouTube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you.

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

What if The One you thought would work out, didn’t?

I receive many calls from those who received signs that their romantic interest or boyfriend is someone special (222, soul mates, twin flames) often times having deep feelings for them, premonitions and other signs that they are spiritually connected or “meant to be”. In many of these readings their feelings that this is a special connection is true. soul mate breakup, soul mate breakup

The hard message to deliver to clients is that many times one or both of them are not ready for the relationship or do not have the social skills to deal with the relationship (dealing with conflict, intensity of feelings). In a recent reading I relayed to my client from those crossed over that relationships are not just about soul connections, you have to make the relationship work in this life and often times that is psychology, empathy or behavior. We can have past lives with them that didn’t work as well, to have a soul mate connection does not guarantee success in any life.

Sometimes that is not your fault but the other party’s. You were receiving signs that this person is special and to proceed but do be aware that that can lead to a spiritual awakening for one or both of you, a learning experience or a calling to heal, rather than a successful long lasting relationship. If it does end or if you are going through problems I recommend healing what you can in yourself and giving your worries to the divine. I do provide healing under the energy healing section. That can improve the relationship or help you move on to someone better depending on the situation. Many of these soul mate connections failed in their past lives, know that it can also crumble in this life. The best thing you can do is improve upon yourself in areas you want to improve, be honest with yourself and try to see from other peoples’ perspective here. Then give the relationship to the divine as they have the wisdom to take you or the relationship to a better place.

From the perspective of someone that has met with multiple soul mates in this lifetime including a twin flame, I can tell you you have more than one soul mate, so release the worry and fear of scarcity, move forward with the positive belief that another will find you.

Need additional help? I do readings full time, click on the toolbar above to schedule your next psychic reading. Every situation is different! soul mate breakup, soul mate breakup

Absolution of Sins

Absolution

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Photo Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RaYch_aENcU

I heard very clearly when in a reading state one day the word “Absolution”.  Kind of hilarious, I went to 10+ years of Catholic school, and while I had heard of the word before I had to look it up after the vision to make sure I knew what it meant.  I thought it had something to do with sinning, maybe forgiveness.  I received several times in my energy healing and readings that we can beat ourselves up sometimes over what we have done in this current life and in past lives.  A very clear vision popped up after I received this word “Absolution” after asking how to do this.   This is what I received and hurriedly wrote down.

“pain of existence
hopelessness
we think we are sinners – should change, sometimes we know energetically or soul level we have been bad in the past
complicated forces cause us to “misbehave” (not all our fault that we do)
we are punishing ourselves physically
instead of going through each cause and “I forgive myself, others…” there is a faster way
absolve sins
saw a vision of Jesus under a rain cloud, rain falling on him, on knees praying, also saw myself on knees praying by bed, then rising up and saying thank you. Say a prayer asking God to absolve my sins both in current and past lives on your knees (picture Jesus next to you with the intention that Jesus not get hurt). say amen. the rain represented the healing water to wash away sins”

The vision outlined a method with which to absolve your sins in past lives and current lives without the need for a priest.  I’ve struggled with the word “sin” since taking the metaphysical journey, knowing that sometimes there are other forces within and outside of us that cause us to act negatively.  I won’t go into that now, but if you feel that you continually pull yourself down mentally, physically, energetically for the past, this is a wonderful healing to lift you up.  I really felt energetically refreshed afterwards with more positive energy.

Method

Like the vision said, kneel (or lay down), and imagine Jesus with you in the rain which is cleansing both of you.  Imagine yourself in the white light.  Then see yourself floating above the clouds, up into the universe as high as you can go until you reach an area of the universe that is all white.  Imagine you and Jesus in this area either kneeling or lying down with God watching over you.  Tell yourself that Jesus won’t get hurt in the process (I had a problem with this that I didn’t want him dying or getting hurt for my sins, you might too).  Thank God, your angels, archangels and Jesus for being there. Ask God out loud to absolve your sins in past lives and current life.  End with please and thank you, Amen.  Watch or feel what happens.  Wait until the vision or feelings stop and your feet feel heavy or grounded.  Say “Thank you God, Jesus and angels”.  Imagine yourself going back down into the universe, through earth’s atmosphere, back into your body.  Imagine your feet turning into roots and going down to the core of the earth, bringing green light to fill your body and energy field around you.  Say out loud, “I am grounded, I am grounded, I am grounded” and wait until your feet feel like heavy rocks.  Then continue about your day.

Need more information in a reading or healing?  Check out my reading page or my energy healing page.

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When you love someone so strongly and they don’t love you back

I was going through a reading and I was reminded of situations where someone will see through to someone’s soul and love them so completely but the other person does not feel the same. It was shown to me clairvoyantly and intuitively what happens. Essentially the one that falls hard and feels the unconditional love for the other person sees straight through all the outer facades, layers, thoughts about self, egos and into their soul. It was explained to me that the soul is more pure and without much of the other cultural facades we put up to fit in. It is essentially a soul loving another soul, piercing through all that other stuff. Unfortunately for me this has happened multiple times where I see through people, see their potential when they do not. Thank goodness, the most recent time it happened, I was able to recover very quickly, let go and move on better. Note that I’ve been doing energy healing for years and working on myself, I know this isn’t easy without those tools. However, what I did was express my feelings quickly rather than tucking them away for years. Once I got the feelings out, I felt infinitely better (this doesnt mean they’ll be mutually interested btw, they are probably not seeing as deeply as you). The reasoning I saw during a reading for someone else was that they were not doing the same, essentially not seeing through to the soul and experiencing the same level of feelings. This happens a lot, it’s not just you and me. I know this because I do readings most days. If you can’t express your feelings to the other person because of fear of rejection (it really helps to work on this – contact me for theta healing. It affects more than just relationships) then write your feelings down and burn them if you don’t feel it will work out for one reason or another. Then pray and ask God to help you move on in the best and highest way for you. Ask God for the suffering to stop. Know that the lesson in these cases, that I have received in my readings, is to know that we are all connected, to become closer to the Divine and spirituality.

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