Top 5 Reasons Soul Mate Relationships Don’t Work Out

Some soul mate and twin flame relationships can work. However it takes more than the soul connection itself sometimes to make a long term relationship happen. Here are a few common reasons I have found over the years as to why some soul mate relationships (even twin flames) fizzle out.

1. You feel the connection and he does not. He remains more grounded than you are, less affected by the eb and flow of your souls. You feel the feelings very strongly and think he should react similarly but he’s not on the same page.

2. You’re feeling the connection and think that’s going to do the work for you. A lot of times people ignore the psychology necessary to make the relationship work. It’s not all about the spiritual connection, one or both of you still need to have the psychological or relationship skills you need to make a relationship succeed. A lot of times that can boil down to how to make meaningful eye contact, show affection, deal with your anxiety or avoidance as an Attachment Theory, overcoming fears, communication, and compromise.

3. Validation is missing. Even though you feel his soul’s love and connection to you he is not giving you on a physical, conscious level the love and validation you need in order to feel fulfilled. You become disheartened and wonder how he feels or where his head is at in the relationship. Validation can be s simple as a text “Hi”, “Good morning”, or “Thinking of you” to let you know you are important to him and the relationship is still stable. It can be putting in the effort to see you (quality time), giving you a gift or doing you a favor (acts of service). It can also be expressing his feelings which is my next point.

4. He’s not expressing feelings. It can be very frustrating to my clients when they’re feeling such a strong connection with their soul mate’s or twin flame’s soul and he’s not showing that in a physical sense. Often times in many of my readings a very common question can be “how does he feel about me?” “Is he thinking about me?” Even though she can feel a very strong soul connection and she is convinced there is a purpose for the two of them, on a physical level he’s not opening up and expressing his feelings to her. So she remains clueless on how he’s feeling on a conscious level. Sometimes this happens because the men in our society don’t know that they need to follow up more frequently than they think, as well as a cultural pressure for the men in our society to not express emotion which can occur at a very early age. I remember watching my nephew grow up and my brother yelling at him for crying because boys don’t do that. It’s ingrained very early on in their childhood to not express emotion, a lot of social pressure goes into this and it can affect them later on in their relationships.

5. He’s just not that interested. I’m sorry to be harsh here but some people do need a splash of reality every once in awhile to knock them out of an unproductive pattern. A lot of my clients can feel this Soul connection so deeply and it’s kind of an affair of the Soul. However, no matter how much his soul visits you in your dreams and how much you can feel it clairsentiently, on a physical level he is just not that interested in you. A lot of times it can be an attraction issue, in other words he’s not attracted to you and not thinking about you in that way, or he’s just not certain enough about you to be committed to you.

Either way go back to psychology instead of the Soul connection itself. We can have multiple soulmates as we’ve had multiple past lives, and in each of these past lives it’s not always the same soulmate we have a romance with. So you can have many soul mates, and as you open yourself up to spirits and feel more you will find more than just one in a lifetime. I’ve already found a twin flame and multiple soulmates, soul connections and even a couple from my soul group. They can feel like a special connection and feel significant, however it’s going to take more than just a soulmate connection to make a relationship work. Hopefully this article will help you to see why.

If you need a reading to discuss what your angels and guides specifically advise for your relationship, feel free to setup an appointment here today. I offer same day and scheduled readings over phone, skype intl and text.

What if he is unwilling to make the changes necessary to advance the relationship? What you should do is continue looking. Go back to the psychology instead of the feelings alone. Get out there and meet somebody new if you are not exclusive. You may click with someone else, maybe spruce up your wardrobe or how you feel about yourself so you seem more attractive to the gender of your preference and meet new people. You don’t just need a soul mate to have a relationship, but relationship skills seem to be highly useful in order to make the relationship work and it helps when both sides have them and know how to use them. Some of the more successful relationships I’ve seen in the thousands of readings I’ve done over the years is open communication skills. People that can bypass the fears, or don’t seem to have as many blocks to expressing themselves are helpful in making relationships long term.

Also, you may be going through or will go through the grief cycle when transitioning to a new relationship. Be kind to yourself during this time, realize that the denial, bargaining and depression states are temporary and that you can ask for divine help to get you to acceptance. I do offer angelic and spirit guide lead grief advice and energy healing should you need help.

I recommend a few books for further reference, none of which talk about soulmates but rather the practicality of relationships from a psychological perspective as I feel this will help you more in your relationships. Good luck!

Attached” by Amir Levine

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray

Copywrite 2020 Feathers. All Rights Reserved.

Why We Want Those Who We Are Not With and What To Do About It

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website here.

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website.

6. You feel like they are “yours”. A lot of psychological articles will discuss “possession” of those you love. Some of them come from an extreme perspective of someone trying to control one person or another, but much of what I receive in readings is more this feeling like this person that is not their current partner (an interest, an ex) is “theirs” or belongs to them in some way and they don’t want them to move on or be with another. Much of this comes from the beliefs of “the one”, scarcity and insecurity. Break free and realize we have more than one soul mate, many past lives and can feel a connection even with someone new.

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is YouTube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you.

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD
Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Tell You How He Feels

I do many readings for others and many of my readings are with a woman that are attracted to a guy who she keeps in good contact with but he’s not revealing his feelings enough to her verbally. Clients often ask me why they have this pattern where the man is not revealing his feelings enough in the relationship. Many times I will receive that he reveals feelings in others ways as verbal expression can be difficult depending on how he was raised.  Other ways can be acts of service, affirmations, quality time, physical gifts and longer than usual eye contact.  Check out my 5 love languages article for more on this.

 

Some of this can be explained by Attachment Theory as someone is attracted to another person who is what they call an “avoidant” and it makes the client very anxious waiting for some sort of validation of his feelings in a verbal sense.  These personality times have some psychological challenges to work through and can be a difficult partner for someone who gets anxious with separation.

The third reason that comes up is metaphysical.  If you see the same pattern come up in your life where your partners have trouble expressing emotion, law of attraction may be sending you the same person with similar patterns.  Look into your past.  How many people in your life act similarly in ways that bother you?  How much time, attention, action and feeling have you put into these people?  Many times these people were just in you life from the get go, like parents, but over the years you have put energy, thought, feeling and action into people with similar personality traits.   To manifest according to the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Bryne it helps to put thought, feeling, and action behind what you want.  According to this book the law doesn’t really discriminate “bad” versus “good” desires, if you put the energy into it it is possible to get the same thing out over and over again.  Now I do believe that spiritual forces protect us from ourselves but they do show us the same patterns as well so we can correct for it.

Some clients ask me how do I stop this pattern of being with these guys that don’t openly express their feelings. My recommendation is two fold. First reverse you’re thinking and reactions when you encounter someone who openly shows emotion. If you find yourself taking a step back in fear the problem may not be the person that is expressing themselves; it may be time to look at why you’re uncomfortable with someone showing you affection. The second recommendation is to look for either a behavioral psychiatrist who can do some sort of hypnotherapy on your subconscious or a Theta healer who essentially does the same thing but on multiple metaphysical levels including past lives, soul level, current life and genetic levels. My own Theta Healing also concentrates on the mind or mental level as well as the Akashic records. Theta healing removes the negative beliefs and fears that cause you to react this way and replaces them with something more positive and in line with what you really want.  If you’d like to look at some of my energy healing options feel free to look on my website here.   I also do psychic mediumship readings here.

Additional Reading:

The Secret” by Rhonda Bryne

Attached” by Amir Levine

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray

boyfriend feels, boyfriend feels, boyfriend feels

Why He is Not Calling and What You Can Do About It. Attachment Theory.

Image takes you to Amazon.com for more info

Are you stuck in an unequal relationship that displays any of these characteristics:

– He doesn’t follow up with contact
– He doesn’t initiate enough or give you enough attention
– He isn’t expressing his feelings but you can tell he has them
– You find yourself in cycles of push/pull, hot/cold, chase/run

I highly recommend this book on attachment theory. It discusses each of the types and how to best deal with their behaviorial issues.

It talks about both perspectives, why you are stuck having feelings for this person who doesnt give you enough love back and why they are pulling away, occasionally coming back to string you along. While there may be deeper metaphysical issues as well which we can discuss in a reading here : www.feathersinfinity.com, this book does give some great pointers on what to heal as well as how to react to your love interest. Sometimes knowing why they are acting this way helps us to react less emotionally and take it less personally.

The books discusses 3 types, the anxious, the stable and the avoidant.

In summary (we can be a mix of any 3 of theThe Anxious – This person is always wondering why he doesnt call, why he doesnt initiate the dates or contact enough, and feels they are constantly chasing someone who does not show enough appreciation for them. However they find themselves in love with the other party, stuck in an unending cycle, hoping he’ll change. Often times lack of action from their love interest ruins their day or part of their day and can be a source of anxiety for the person.

  • Avoidant – An avoidant personality wants to maintain their independence, is afraid of getting hurt but tries not to show it, and often pulls away for a time until they miss a person and then pop back into the love interests life when they feel ready. They are consistantly inconsistant, they think people should hide their emotions and have difficulty expressing themselves. They have deep feelings too but try to push them away and control them due to lack of trust.
  • Stable – This is the personality type that we hope to achieve, a good balance of empathy to know when your partner needs affection and attention, expressing their own emotions and is able to be more vulnerable on a healthy way with their partner. Stable people can be with all 3 personalities because they have the wisdom and empathy to understand the others’ point of view and can tend to their needs without as much emotional turmoil.