The 5 Love Languages for Animals and Singles

Many of my clients in the past have come to me wondering if they’ll ever receive love in their life without a partner. Many people have heard of the 5 love languages, and this book is usually put in the context of already established couples. However many of us do not have a romantic partner but still need our love tank filled so that we feel happier and more content in our daily lives.

What if I told you that you can receive love outside a romantic relationship? Everyone has heard of the Five Love Languages. I always knew my primary love language in the past was spending time with someone, but what does one do when they’re single and are not receiving love from another actual physical person?

The 5 love languages are:

+ Acts of service

+ Physical touch

+ Giving gifts

+ Words of Affirmation

+ Quality Time

Suggestions:

Acts of Service (receiving)

+ Receive an energy healing or massage (also counts as physical touch)

+ Meditation with crystals asking healers (angels or higher) to help heal you. The higher on the scale like thrones, cherubim or seraphim are great if you are really feeling out of sorts. Work towards 15 minutes to an hour depending on where you are. Place a lot of black onyx and tourmaline along your legs and feet for reducing anxiety.

+ Go out to a restaurant or movie theater where you receive service without having to cleanup

+ Have someone else clean your home once a quarter or twice a year if you don’t currently have a service

+ Visualize God filling your love tank until full and then feel loved for additional manifesting energy

Physical touch

+ You may already being using methods to achieve contentment or calm through touch. Some people cuddle with a blankie, pillow, or take a nap on a soft bed. Some rub their arms or put on scented lotion.

+ Receive a massage from a therapist

+ Visualize God filling your love tank until full and then feel loved for additional manifesting energy

Giving / receiving gifts

+ Budget permitting, go online or in person shopping. Get yourself something nice, whether than is luxury soap, lotion, electronics, whatever you would like.

+ Give yourself a bubble bath and extra long shower with scents, duckies, whatever brings you happiness

+ Visualize God filling your love tank until full and then feel loved for additional manifesting energy

Quality time

+ Spend quality time with friends you are comfortable with

+ Tell yourself you’re giving yourself “quality time” and do something on your own that won’t make you feel bad. Again make sure you won’t feel lonely with whatever you choose. Arts and crafts, going to the beach, go to a cafe, take a walk m, watch a movie and playing games are a few examples.

+ Visualize God filling your love tank until full and then feel loved for additional manifesting energy

Words of affirmation

+ Use affirmations such as those in Louise Hay’s books based on areas in your body that hurt or choose your own. “I love myself”, “I am beautiful”, as well as other things you commonly beat yourself up on.

+ Visualize God filling your love tank until full and then feel loved for additional manifesting energy

I was sitting and thinking about how when we don’t receive enough hugs or we haven’t taken some time off to relax, rest or receive physical touch that a lot of us can be in pain physically. One of my workarounds to this is to ask God for enough love so I don’t feel pain for 24 hours. I perform a visualization (with feeling) in the morning and I say “I have enough love in my life so don’t feel pain but I can still ground”. I found without that last piece about grounding that I would be ungrounded but feeling euphoric. This is not good if you have to focus and do some logical thinking. Staying grounded helps you think clearly, gets rid of that brain fog and be less anxious.

PETS TOO!!

Recently I had an intuitive revelation that it’s not just humans that are affected by the five love languages, but also animals.

Pets have similar Love Languages in that some cats and dogs like to be petted and some do not (physical touch). Some like to sit on your lap and feel comfortable with having that physical touch and some don’t want to be touched at all. In the latter case that love language may not be their primary language. Some appreciate your acts of service of providing food and cleaning their area. My cat would occasionally present her stuffed mice for me at my garage door where I usually left in the morning as a gift to me. Some of your pets may have caught live birds and mice and present them to you. A lot of animals and plants do like to be spoken to in a calm or happy manner. Although they may not understand you, your tone of voice will generally lift up their mood and energy.

Animals have similar love languages, and will probably prefer one or a few over others. They give you love using the same love languages with the exception of words of affirmation (does tail wagging or purring count?)

Need a reading for yourself or a pet? I do both, through my website. Go here to schedule a reading.

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have and What To Do About It

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website here.

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website.

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is YouTube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you.

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

Soul Mates and the Stages of Grief

Photo source: Toolshero.com

Sometimes all you have to do is go through a rejection by someone in order to enter into a grieving period. Many of my clients have been rejected by those they feel are either their soulmates or twin flames. I’ve noticed that many people go through the stages of grief when they are rejected by someone they are attracted to, interested in or in love with. The problem is I don’t think they recognize that are going through the stages, instead they’re just feeling they’re emotions and reacting.

The denial stage is obvious. It’s essentially when you’re in denial and you can’t believe what just happened to you. Sometimes there’s a shock stage before denial but the denial stage is very real. It prevents you from seeing what is really happening, often times our ego wall might come up and we won’t see from the other person’s perspective. Next comes anger which is usually from being in a place of the ego reacting to getting rejected and trying to make up another story (they have issues, it is their fault, something is wrong with them) as well as lashing out at whoever rejected you. This can be in varying degrees, some people may not get that angry and instead get sad (low self esteem) and some people might start thinking about revenge. Bargaining comes around when someone often thinks that this is the only one they have a chance to be with or they’re not going to find someone else that they have a strong feelings for, which is not true, we have multiple soul mates. This can be a very embarrassing, uncomfortable stage that I don’t wish on anyone. They may turn to God or psychics for extreme solutions that they may feel embarrassed about later or when they realize what they asked for or tried to do. During this stage I will often put them in their love-interest shoes. I ask them how would you like it if somebody tried to force you to love them using God or spirits if you were not initially interested? They all calm down at that point and answer that they wouldn’t like it very much. It is an eye opener.

Then I usually share with them a more realistic solution. There’s some excellent books out there such as “The Like Button” that tells you how to gradually get somebody to be more comfortable in your presence or be curious about you. A lot of times this is just being around them, being in the same room, not necessarily always talking to them. A great way to explain this is to use the example of a deer and a bunny in a prairie. When the bunny first enters the prairie the deer might get spooked and run off. Overtime the bunny continues to enter the prairie but stays at a distance, not threatening the deer. This lets the deer know that the bunny is not dangerous because over time the bunny is not actually doing anything harmful. Slowly, the bunny can get closer without spooking the deer. I highly recommend “The Like Button” as well as Dale Carnegie’s “How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Some people may get spooked when you first show that you’re interested in them but it is possible to come back in a less scary manner and over time they can become curious about you, and more comfortable around you. You may become friends or you may become something more, this may just depend on a number of variables on both sides.

If you feel like you’re going through any of these stages of grief I highly recommend that you go through a healing process where you can get to the acceptance stage. I usually call an ascended Master such as Jesus, Mary, or Buddha as well as Archangel Artiya’il while laying down on my bed and ask them to help me get to the acceptance stage with whatever I’m struggling with at that time. Wait and feel much of the healing at the bottom of your lungs to clear before returning to your day.  When the soreness or feeling in your lungs dissipate the healing is done.  This can help push you past the stages of bargaining, anger and depression and into a more peaceful place. When you get to this peaceful place you no longer feel this urge or anguish over wanting to change the situation at any means possible. The sadness and depression go away. Then you’re more open to other options and no longer have that heart block that prevents you from seeing them or considering them.

If you need more help go to the top toolbar, I have different psychic reading options for you so you can talk to me in person, over the phone, or Skype/text chat. soul mates grief, soul mates grief, soul mates grief

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When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Tell You How He Feels

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Photo Credit: shrinivasa sharma https://flic.kr/p/38pbxV

I do many readings for others and many of my readings are with a woman that are attracted to a guy who she keeps in good contact with but he’s not revealing his feelings enough to her verbally. Clients often ask me why they have this pattern where the man is not revealing his feelings enough in the relationship. Many times I will receive that he reveals feelings in others ways as verbal expression can be difficult depending on how he was raised.  Other ways can be acts of service, affirmations, quality time, physical gifts and longer than usual eye contact.  Check out my 5 love languages article for more on this.

 

Some of this can be explained by Attachment Theory as someone is attracted to another person who is what they call an “avoidant” and it makes the client very anxious waiting for some sort of validation of his feelings in a verbal sense.  These personality times have some psychological challenges to work through and can be a difficult partner for someone who gets anxious with separation.

The third reason that comes up is metaphysical.  If you see the same pattern come up in your life where your partners have trouble expressing emotion, law of attraction may be sending you the same person with similar patterns.  Look into your past.  How many people in your life act similarly in ways that bother you?  How much time, attention, action and feeling have you put into these people?  Many times these people were just in you life from the get go, like parents, but over the years you have put energy, thought, feeling and action into people with similar personality traits.   To manifest according to the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Bryne it helps to put thought, feeling, and action behind what you want.  According to this book the law doesn’t really discriminate “bad” versus “good” desires, if you put the energy into it it is possible to get the same thing out over and over again.  Now I do believe that spiritual forces protect us from ourselves but they do show us the same patterns as well so we can correct for it.

Some clients ask me how do I stop this pattern of being with these guys that don’t openly express their feelings. My recommendation is two fold. First reverse you’re thinking and reactions when you encounter someone who openly shows emotion. If you find yourself taking a step back in fear the problem may not be the person that is expressing themselves; it may be time to look at why you’re uncomfortable with someone showing you affection. The second recommendation is to look for either a behavioral psychiatrist who can do some sort of hypnotherapy on your subconscious or a Theta healer who essentially does the same thing but on multiple metaphysical levels including past lives, soul level, current life and genetic levels. My own Theta Healing also concentrates on the mind or mental level as well as the Akashic records. Theta healing removes the negative beliefs and fears that cause you to react this way and replaces them with something more positive and in line with what you really want.  If you’d like to look at some of my energy healing options feel free to look on my website here.   I also do psychic mediumship readings here.

Additional Reading:

The Secret” by Rhonda Bryne

Attached” by Amir Levine

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray

boyfriend feels, boyfriend feels, boyfriend feels