Tag Archives: Soul Mates

Why We Want Those Who We Are Not With and What To Do About It

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website here.

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website.

6. Possession. You feel like they are “yours”. What I receive in readings is a feeling like this person that is not their current partner (an interest, an ex) is “theirs” or belongs to them in some way and they don’t want them to move on or be with another. A lot of psychological articles will discuss a feeling of what they call “possession” of those you love. Much of this comes from the beliefs of “the one”, scarcity and insecurity. It can cause clients to feel jealous when their love interest is with another woman/man even though they do not have exclusivity with their love interest. In some cases the love interest may not even know my client very well yet and very little communication has been exchanged, yet my client can still feel like their love interest is “theirs”. Break free and realize we have more than one soul mate, many past lives and can feel a connection even with someone new. Ask God to heal your feelings of scarcity and “the one” in the best and highest way for you.

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is YouTube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you.

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD
Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

Copyright, Feathers 2019, All rights reserved.

Absolution of Sins

Absolution

Photo Source: Daniel Maat, “prayer”, https://flic.kr/p/84TyxZ

I heard very clearly when in a reading state one day the word “Absolution”.  Kind of hilarious, I went to 10+ years of Catholic school, and while I had heard of the word before I had to look it up after the vision to make sure I knew what it meant.  I thought it had something to do with sinning, maybe forgiveness.  I received several times in my energy healing and readings that we can beat ourselves up sometimes over what we have done in this current life and in past lives.  A very clear vision popped up after I received this word “Absolution” after asking how to do this.   This is what I received and hurriedly wrote down.

“pain of existence
hopelessness
we think we are sinners – should change, sometimes we know energetically or soul level we have been bad in the past
complicated forces cause us to “misbehave” (not all our fault that we do)
we are punishing ourselves physically
instead of going through each cause and “I forgive myself, others…” there is a faster way
absolve sins
saw a vision of Jesus under a rain cloud, rain falling on him, on knees praying, also saw myself on knees praying by bed, then rising up and saying thank you. Say a prayer asking God to absolve my sins both in current and past lives on your knees (picture Jesus next to you with the intention that Jesus not get hurt). say amen. the rain represented the healing water to wash away sins”

The vision outlined a method with which to absolve your sins in past lives and current lives without the need for a priest.  I’ve struggled with the word “sin” since taking the metaphysical journey, knowing that sometimes there are other forces within and outside of us that cause us to act negatively.  I won’t go into that now, but if you feel that you continually pull yourself down mentally, physically, energetically for the past, this is a wonderful healing to lift you up.  I really felt energetically refreshed afterwards with more positive energy.

Method

Like the vision said, kneel (or lay down), and imagine Jesus with you in the rain which is cleansing both of you.  Imagine yourself in the white light.  Then see yourself floating above the clouds, up into the universe as high as you can go until you reach an area of the universe that is all white.  Imagine you and Jesus in this area either kneeling or lying down with God watching over you.  Tell yourself that Jesus won’t get hurt in the process (I had a problem with this that I didn’t want him dying or getting hurt for my sins, you might too).  Thank God, your angels, archangels and Jesus for being there. Ask God out loud to absolve your sins in past lives and current life.  End with please and thank you, Amen.  Watch or feel what happens.  Wait until the vision or feelings stop and your feet feel heavy or grounded.  Say “Thank you God, Jesus and angels”.  Imagine yourself going back down into the universe, through earth’s atmosphere, back into your body.  Imagine your feet turning into roots and going down to the core of the earth, bringing green light to fill your body and energy field around you.  Say out loud, “I am grounded, I am grounded, I am grounded” and wait until your feet feel like heavy rocks.  Then continue about your day.

Need more information in a reading or healing?  Check out my reading page or my energy healing page.

Copyright, 2020 Feathers, All Rights Reserved

Why He is Not Calling and What You Can Do About It. Attachment Theory.

Image takes you to Amazon.com for more info

Are you stuck in an unequal relationship that displays any of these characteristics:

– He doesn’t follow up with contact
– He doesn’t initiate enough or give you enough attention
– He isn’t expressing his feelings but you can tell he has them
– You find yourself in cycles of push/pull, hot/cold, chase/run

I highly recommend this book on attachment theory. It discusses each of the types and how to best deal with their behaviorial issues.

It talks about both perspectives, why you are stuck having feelings for this person who doesnt give you enough love back and why they are pulling away, occasionally coming back to string you along. While there may be deeper metaphysical issues as well which we can discuss in a reading here : www.feathersinfinity.com, this book does give some great pointers on what to heal as well as how to react to your love interest. Sometimes knowing why they are acting this way helps us to react less emotionally and take it less personally.

The books discusses 3 types, the anxious, the stable and the avoidant.

In summary (we can be a mix of any 3 of theThe Anxious – This person is always wondering why he doesnt call, why he doesnt initiate the dates or contact enough, and feels they are constantly chasing someone who does not show enough appreciation for them. However they find themselves in love with the other party, stuck in an unending cycle, hoping he’ll change. Often times lack of action from their love interest ruins their day or part of their day and can be a source of anxiety for the person.

  • Avoidant – An avoidant personality wants to maintain their independence, is afraid of getting hurt but tries not to show it, and often pulls away for a time until they miss a person and then pop back into the love interests life when they feel ready. They are consistantly inconsistant, they think people should hide their emotions and have difficulty expressing themselves. They have deep feelings too but try to push them away and control them due to lack of trust.
  • Stable – This is the personality type that we hope to achieve, a good balance of empathy to know when your partner needs affection and attention, expressing their own emotions and is able to be more vulnerable on a healthy way with their partner. Stable people can be with all 3 personalities because they have the wisdom and empathy to understand the others’ point of view and can tend to their needs without as much emotional turmoil.

Copyright 2019 Feathers, All Right Reserved

Sexual Fears

Photo Source: Walter Tate, “Sad”, https://flic.kr/p/uFUNbQ

Many of us have had multiple past lives, and often times have been both genders. You don’t have to go too far in the past on earth to see that women were not treated that well in the bedroom or outside of it. Chances are high you probably did not have great sexual experiences in your past lives (or even this one for that matter). On top of that, if you were a woman in a past life you very well could have had a miscarriage or died during childbirth.

So you know you have some fears in that area, what can you do about it?

Sex, childbirth and gender issues (as well as relationship issues) tend to be centered around the sacral charka, or abdominal area. Now if we are talking about death during childbirth or a violation sexually, then that is Root chakra, or safety. The root chakra is best described as the area at the base of your spine. I would recommend healing both of these chakras at the same time for sexual issues.

The color for sacral chakra is orange and coordinates with sunstone, orange calcite, or copper. Moonstone is great on this area as well. The color for root chakra is red. My favorites are red tiger eye, and red jasper (some black stones are excellent as well such as black tourmaline, onyx, and obsidian. Black is usually grounding stones. Steer clear of “magic” stones such as Merlinite and Nummite.).  Red tiger eye is best for sexual issues including arousal.

Ask God to send you healers to best help heal your past life and current life sexual issues. You can be more specific if you’d like or keep it general. If you are not comfortable with talking to God, I recommend asking Archangel Raphael and Jesus or Mary or Buddha. Then meditate with the crystals listed above and/or concentrate on orange and red.

Affirmations:

Affirmations said out loud or written down are extremely useful and quick way to open and heal your chakras. Say or write down three times for intention.

Sacral: “I relate to others with ease” (3x)

Root: “I am safe and protected” (3x)

Lastly, imagine God’s big hand sweeping all sexual energies and entities away from you and storing them in a room far away in space to be sorted out by experts in that area. Imagine God replacing the energy with positive gold or green energy.

Copyright Feathers. 2016. All Rights Reserved.