Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have and What To Do About It

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website here.

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website.

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is YouTube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you.

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have, Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have

Absolution of Sins

Absolution

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Photo Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RaYch_aENcU

I heard very clearly when in a reading state one day the word “Absolution”.  Kind of hilarious, I went to 10+ years of Catholic school, and while I had heard of the word before I had to look it up after the vision to make sure I knew what it meant.  I thought it had something to do with sinning, maybe forgiveness.  I received several times in my energy healing and readings that we can beat ourselves up sometimes over what we have done in this current life and in past lives.  A very clear vision popped up after I received this word “Absolution” after asking how to do this.   This is what I received and hurriedly wrote down.

“pain of existence
hopelessness
we think we are sinners – should change, sometimes we know energetically or soul level we have been bad in the past
complicated forces cause us to “misbehave” (not all our fault that we do)
we are punishing ourselves physically
instead of going through each cause and “I forgive myself, others…” there is a faster way
absolve sins
saw a vision of Jesus under a rain cloud, rain falling on him, on knees praying, also saw myself on knees praying by bed, then rising up and saying thank you. Say a prayer asking God to absolve my sins both in current and past lives on your knees (picture Jesus next to you with the intention that Jesus not get hurt). say amen. the rain represented the healing water to wash away sins”

The vision outlined a method with which to absolve your sins in past lives and current lives without the need for a priest.  I’ve struggled with the word “sin” since taking the metaphysical journey, knowing that sometimes there are other forces within and outside of us that cause us to act negatively.  I won’t go into that now, but if you feel that you continually pull yourself down mentally, physically, energetically for the past, this is a wonderful healing to lift you up.  I really felt energetically refreshed afterwards with more positive energy.

Method

Like the vision said, kneel (or lay down), and imagine Jesus with you in the rain which is cleansing both of you.  Imagine yourself in the white light.  Then see yourself floating above the clouds, up into the universe as high as you can go until you reach an area of the universe that is all white.  Imagine you and Jesus in this area either kneeling or lying down with God watching over you.  Tell yourself that Jesus won’t get hurt in the process (I had a problem with this that I didn’t want him dying or getting hurt for my sins, you might too).  Thank God, your angels, archangels and Jesus for being there. Ask God out loud to absolve your sins in past lives and current life.  End with please and thank you, Amen.  Watch or feel what happens.  Wait until the vision or feelings stop and your feet feel heavy or grounded.  Say “Thank you God, Jesus and angels”.  Imagine yourself going back down into the universe, through earth’s atmosphere, back into your body.  Imagine your feet turning into roots and going down to the core of the earth, bringing green light to fill your body and energy field around you.  Say out loud, “I am grounded, I am grounded, I am grounded” and wait until your feet feel like heavy rocks.  Then continue about your day.

Need more information in a reading or healing?  Check out my reading page or my energy healing page.

Copywrite 2019 Feathers. All Rights Reserved.

Why He is Not Calling and What You Can Do About It. Attachment Theory.

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Are you stuck in an unequal relationship that displays any of these characteristics:

– He doesn’t follow up with contact
– He doesn’t initiate enough or give you enough attention
– He isn’t expressing his feelings but you can tell he has them
– You find yourself in cycles of push/pull, hot/cold, chase/run

I highly recommend this book on attachment theory. It discusses each of the types and how to best deal with their behaviorial issues.

It talks about both perspectives, why you are stuck having feelings for this person who doesnt give you enough love back and why they are pulling away, occasionally coming back to string you along. While there may be deeper metaphysical issues as well which we can discuss in a reading here : www.feathersinfinity.com, this book does give some great pointers on what to heal as well as how to react to your love interest. Sometimes knowing why they are acting this way helps us to react less emotionally and take it less personally.

The books discusses 3 types, the anxious, the stable and the avoidant.

In summary (we can be a mix of any 3 of theThe Anxious – This person is always wondering why he doesnt call, why he doesnt initiate the dates or contact enough, and feels they are constantly chasing someone who does not show enough appreciation for them. However they find themselves in love with the other party, stuck in an unending cycle, hoping he’ll change. Often times lack of action from their love interest ruins their day or part of their day and can be a source of anxiety for the person.

  • Avoidant – An avoidant personality wants to maintain their independence, is afraid of getting hurt but tries not to show it, and often pulls away for a time until they miss a person and then pop back into the love interests life when they feel ready. They are consistantly inconsistant, they think people should hide their emotions and have difficulty expressing themselves. They have deep feelings too but try to push them away and control them due to lack of trust.
  • Stable – This is the personality type that we hope to achieve, a good balance of empathy to know when your partner needs affection and attention, expressing their own emotions and is able to be more vulnerable on a healthy way with their partner. Stable people can be with all 3 personalities because they have the wisdom and empathy to understand the others’ point of view and can tend to their needs without as much emotional turmoil.

Client’s Love & Relationship Question

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LOVE & RELATIONSHIP QUESTION

A client the other day asked me why her relationship not working out if she and her love interest had so much in common.

The answers I received from spirit were two-fold.  One, soul connections are brought into our lives and there is often a purpose to it.  You may pick up on the uniqueness of the connection, however that doesn’t mean it will work out forever, or “til death do you part”.  Sometimes you learn something from them and move on.  Both partners need to work through their issues.  Spirit showed me paths splitting due to a fork in the road; in other words your life paths may not be parallel for the rest of your lives and it can cause a struggle or feeling of incompleteness later in the relationship.  Some couples, including soul connections & Soul Mates, are short term for various reasons.  The second message I received was to discuss my parents.  My parents have been married over 51 years and still going strong.  They are almost complete opposites; one extremely logical and the other very good at expressing her emotions.  In some ways they make up for what the other lacks and can be a very good paring.  Sometimes they don’t understand each other at all, but they accept it, or ask their children what the other means as we have become translators for each side.  They make it work doing their own thing as they are very independent people with unique interests.

Society today, probably because of movies and other forms of entertainment, make us feel that we are to match up and be completely like our mate, however 50+ years ago the opposite was believed.  The full spectrum of similarities and differences can work out potentially.  If you have differences, great!  That could make it interesting for you and they can turn out to be helpful to you in the future.

Need more advice?  Check out my website www.feathersinfinity.com for readings and healing.

Ending Negative Relationship Cycles you Feel Stuck In

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Are you seeing cycles or patterns in your relationship that don’t seem to stop no matter what you do? Do you feel chained to someone with no relief in sight?  You may have a karmic debt with this person.  We can have many past lives with someone, and when you feel you are in a negative cycle with someone that you feel you can’t get out of, then it would be a good idea to cut the cords to the past.  This stops the negative cycles with someone and that chained feeling, not necessarily your relationship with the person.

How to cut cords to the past:
-Close your eyes
-Take three deep breaths
-Go up into space and pretend you are meeting God, in an area where there is only light
-Ask God to cut any past negative karmic cords you have with that person
-Give it some time to work, wait for a warming or tingling sensation to end
-When you feel or think it is complete you can open your eyes

This will cut any past negative karmic cords or debt you have with this person and the seemingly unending cycles of grief, sorrow and control can end.

If you need more help with your relationship or healing, please feel free to visit my website, www.feathersinfinity.com and sign up for a theta healing session with me.

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Sexual Fears

chakras

Many of us have had multiple past lives, and often times have been both genders. You don’t have to go too far in the past on earth to see that women were not treated that well in the bedroom or outside of it. Chances are high you probably did not have great sexual experiences in your past lives (or even this one for that matter). On top of that, if you were a woman in a past life you very well could have had a miscarriage or died during childbirth.

So you know you have some fears in that area, what can you do about it?

Sex, childbirth and gender issues (as well as relationship issues) tend to be centered around the sacral charka, or abdominal area. Now if we are talking about death during childbirth or a violation sexually, then that is Root chakra, or safety. The root chakra is best described as the area at the base of your spine. I would recommend healing both of these chakras at the same time for sexual issues.

The color for sacral chakra is orange and coordinates with sunstone, orange calcite, or copper. Moonstone is great on this area as well. The color for root chakra is red. My favorites are red tiger eye, and red jasper (some black stones are excellent as well such as black tourmaline, onyx, and obsidian. Black is usually grounding stones. Steer clear of “magic” stones such as Merlinite and Nummite.).  Red tiger eye is best for sexual issues including arousal.

Ask God to send you healers to best help heal your past life and current life sexual issues. You can be more specific if you’d like or keep it general. If you are not comfortable with talking to God, I recommend asking Archangel Raphael and Jesus or Mary or Buddha. Then meditate with the crystals listed above and/or concentrate on orange and red.

Affirmations:

Affirmations said out loud or written down are extremely useful and quick way to open and heal your chakras. Say or write down three times for intention.

Sacral: “I relate to others with ease” (3x)

Root: “I am safe and protected” (3x)

For more advice, see my website, www.feathersinfinity.com.

This blog is provided completely for free.  Any ads go to wordpress not myself.  If you like the advice and would like to see it continue, please feel free to sponsor this blog using Paypal here. Disclaimer

In a controlling or manipulative relationship?

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Many controlling relationships are to teach us to stand up for ourselves, that we have worth/deserve what we really want, and, you guessed it, to love ourselves. Why do you feel that you can’t stand up for yourself? Why did you get into the relationship to begin with? I’ve spoken to many women in the same position, and much of the time it is because they don’t have a job, fears of losing money/home, fears of arguments/separation going horribly wrong or because of kids. If they think they have something over you, they can use that against you, either directly spoken or indirectly implied. Sometimes it may all be in your mind, because of beliefs or fears in your subconscious/conscious. Whatever the reason is, it’s time to work on your solar plexus, and probably your throat chakra as well.

The Solar Plexus is right around your stomach (many people with control or manipulation issues have stomach issues such as overeating, anorexia, bulimia or addiction issues). The chakra color is yellow, so meditating with yellow stones such as citrine, yellow calcite, and angel wing calcite helps. You can also visualize yellow when you meditate. Ask your angels, ascended masters (Jesus, Mary, Buddha, etc) and/or God to help heal your solar plexus issues while meditating, in both past lives and current life.  If you don’t meditate, ask them to heal you overnight.

The throat chakra is at the bottom of your throat, and when out of balance you either don’t speak up enough or you talk too much. Similarly, someone who is overly controlling to others can have an out of balance solar plexus chakra. Do the same meditation and healing for the throat as you did for the solar plexus but with blue stones/crystals or by visualizing blue.

When you are being controlled it is often because you don’t love yourself enough to stand up for yourself, or you feel you can’t because of money, children, fear of change, etc. Each of these may be linked to subconscious fears, past lives or other levels best healed with Theta Healing. Feel free to contact me at www.feathersinfinity.com for a theta healing session.

Affirmations:

You can also heal your chakras by saying affirmations three times to yourself (saying them out loud or writing them down is best)

Solar Plexus Chakra Affirmation: “I Stand in My Unique Power.” (3x)

Throat Chakra Affirmation: “I Express My Truth” (3x)

An excellent book that I still refer to is “The Book of Chakra Healing” by Liz Simpson. It includes colors, yoga moves, crystals, archetypes, and affirmations for each chakra. The only thing she doesn’t include is sound frequencies to heal/clear chakras. There may be other resources for sound frequency healing using crystal bowls, tuning forks, and gongs to name a few.

This blog is provided completely for free.  Any ads go to wordpress not myself.  If you like the advice and would like to see it continue, please feel free to sponsor this blog using Paypal here. Disclaimer

 

Stop the Relationship Patterns!

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Do you see patterns play over and over again in your life, particularly with one person?  I noticed something that happened in all my relationships, including with my soul mate, so I used a ritual taught to me by an akashic record expert.  I asked God to tell my soul mate’s guardian angels that I was sorry if I did (the pattern) to them in any life we had together, and that I forgive myself and I forgive that person.  Then the pattern stopped.  If you see patterns in your relationships, I would recommend using this method to stop that pattern so you can move on with your life.  You don’t have to suffer.  Best of luck!  Want more advice?  I am a Psychic Medium and offer psychic mediumship readings day or night.  Visit my website at www.feathersinfinity.com.  Look forward to speaking with you!

Want a reading or healing from me?  Find my rates at www.feathersinfinity.com.

Do You Feel Like You Do All the Giving?

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Do you feel like you do all the giving in your relationship?  Well, you may be with someone who is comfortable with receiving, but not really in giving back.  A lot of times, some of us are raised to think it is better to give than receive and get to the point in our lives where we feel guilty for receiving.  Then the people we are paired with have gotten comfortable with receiving and may even be dependant on those that give too much because they never learned to take care of themselves.  When you have a giving and receiving imbalance resentment can build but also the giver can feel drained after a time.  Instead of trying to change the other person, I would ask your angels to help you receive more in your life.  Your angels can help you receive more in your life from other places to help you feel less drained.  Waiting for your partner, parent, friend or sibling to give more might take a while, or not happen at all, take care of yourself now and ask for assistance from the universe.  When the gifts come, be sure to receive them openly.  I have other hints and tricks to help you feel less drained and more balanced everday.  Check it out on the readings and healings page : http://www.feathersinfinity.com/readings-healing.html

Want a reading or healing from me?  Find my rates at www.feathersinfinity.com.

This blog is provided completely for free.  Any ads go to wordpress not myself.  If you like the advice and would like to see it continue, please feel free to sponsor this blog using Paypal here. Disclaimer