By Andrea Knight
Copyright 2025, All Rights Reserved.

One of my clients called in and was afraid her current love interest was “getting the milk without buying the cow.”  I thought this was a funny way to illustrate a pattern I had seen over the years.  Essentially there are some guys, yes not all, that once they get away with intimacy without commitment, and they have a fear of long term relationships, then the chances of him actually committing to a relationship decrease over time. The reason being is they’re already getting what they want without putting in the obligation and responsibility and will continue to do so (getting the milk without buying the cow). 

Often women stuck in these situations and will get mixed up mentally for a variety of reasons:

• They think waiting for intimacy until after commitment is “old fashioned” and they don’t want to lose the guy
• They don’t think well of themselves for a variety of reasons, meaning they are afraid they can’t get someone else and stick with what they have
• They don’t want to be single, or face the unknown
• They feel this particular guy is “special”, thinking they won’t find that feeling again with someone else
• They think they can help him or change him

Be careful, when a guy is honest and says “I’m not really looking for commitment”, or “I want to keep this casual”, as he’s doing you a favor and telling you his intentions.  To walk in thinking you can convert them is not wise and may be a waste of energy and time. 

Guides told her to throw those that are not fitting her criteria back into the dating pool (I saw a visual of a fish being thrown back to sea), because there are good ones out there that are looking to settle down as long as it’s the right person for them. Also when you do, you’re telling the universe you don’t want that type anymore, and you know that there are good people out there that will be a good long term partner for you. 

The other recommendation I often receive for clients is to set milestones, if he doesn’t commit within 3 to 6 months it’s pretty good indication he may not, and his mindset is one of Friends with Benefits (fwb), not necessarily of committing for long-term or marriage.

Believe it or not some people do still wait these days until there is a commitment or marriage for intimacy (I know, *gasp*, but true). Sometimes what seemed as “old fashioned” may have been a good idea for a reason.

Want to know if he really has long term intentions?

Ask your guides!  Schedule an appointment today.

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*Daily Tip notes: Not all advice or tips are a one size fits all. Please note everyone’s situation may be different.

**Disclaimers