The Good Ones Aren’t All Taken

I was wandering the library looking for something new to read and I found this book with the little chocolate truffle in the front and I thought it looked delicious so I brought it home. I finished this book in about 2 days.

It describes several personality types and psychological problems that may commonly occur with women that prevents them from having a long-lasting relationship. The author describes these personality types as the following:

+ The Old Faithful – if you stay attached to an ex for an unusually long time comparative to others around you, if you’re feeling like you missed out on your “one true” chance for love, or have beliefs in “The One”

+ The Whirlwind Dater – this is someone who dates a lot but has not settled on one man for a long period of time, this is also someone who has a hard time relaxing

+ The Standstill – this person rarely if ever dates, this can be common with those that are still a virgin or have only had sex a handful of times or less. This person is afraid of anyone finding out how little they have dated or have been intimate and often get embarrassed when someone asks them when was their last date and how often they’ve dated.

+ The Forbidden Fruit Hunter – this person is continually attracted to those that are unavailable or married, they may reject nice guys who show interest that are available, they may come from a single-parent home or has strong emotional connections with their family

+ The Compassionate Rescuer – this person has a hard time saying no to people, they feel like they have to rescue someone or is habitually with someone that they feel needs them, they continually try to stay flexible in order to please others, they give more then they receive in relationships, they are often condescended to or controlled by family or partners

+ The Wanderer – this woman is the life of the party, can make friends very easily but has a hard time staying faithful and hops from one relationship to another, they can get anxious if they’re not in a relationship and like to indulge in things that are pleasurable or celebratory

+ The Uptown Girl – she enjoys compliments and dresses or looks the part so she can get a lot of compliments. They look for men that either have money, status or power.

+ The Runaway Bride – very similar to the movie, this person is somebody that really doesn’t know themselves and doesn’t stay in a relationship very long, they commonly bolt when the relationship gets too serious

The book mainly outlines some common psychological issues that prevent you from seeing the situation as it truly is. One of which that she talks about is subconscious beliefs that are sabotaging you. If you find yourself in a situation after a date or when someone finds you attractive that you start having a lot of negative thoughts then you may need to work on your subconscious beliefs. I recommend using Theta healing which I do provide on my website which has turned much of my life around towards the positive as well as my thinking. Theta can affect Law of Attraction and the type of people that you draw to you as well as how they treat you when they are in your life. It can affect those that are already in your life as well and how they treat you but in a different more positive way. You can find my Theta healing offerings here. Theta healing works on current life, past life, and other soul level beliefs, removing the negative beliefs and replacing it with positive which in turn affects how people see you, how you think and what you attract to you.

Two other of the more common issues that she discusses is the signs that you may have intimacy issues because you are trying to fit in a man’s world so you act professionally when you should act more sexual or feminine to a love interest. Essentially you have not learned how to be feminine, open or sexy and are uncomfortable in that role.

The other common issue she describes is feeling overly responsible for your parents’ happiness, usually one parent over the other. You’ve taken on a role that subconsciously and consciously you will have a hard time separating yourself from. You may enter into a relationship and start wondering, “but who’s going to take care of Mom?”

This is just a quick summary of the book, there are other issues and solutions provided. I highly recommend you get the book from your local library or Amazon to see which of these personality types best describes you. You may be a combination of all the above. Once you’ve figured out your patterns that will give you a launching point to then find the healing modality that best works for you to turn your life and thinking around.

Need more love and relationship advice? I’ve been giving advice for years. You can find my psychic mediumship reading offerings under my readings page here: www.mediumandreaknight.com/readings.html

Why We Want Those Who We Can’t Have and What to do about it

There are a few psychological and metaphysical reasons why you may be interested in somebody who is either not interested in you or that treats you poorly.

1. You are connecting to their soul energy, you’ve pierced through their outer layers and have gotten to a spiritual side of them that contains unconditional love. As you try to concentrate on other things, thoughts of them pop up in your mind because your energies are communicating. The problem is if on a physical level they are not as aware of this as you are, and are not interested in you in that way, they may not treat you very well or really contact you much at all. This leads me to the psychological problems that can lead to feeling “stuck” on a person.

2. When someone is busy or doesn’t take much interest in us we think that they’re more special or have more value. When someone is busy sometimes we interpret that as they’re more important, that they have more friends, and are more popular than us. We put them on a pedestal thinking they are more rare and harder to get, increasing their “scarcity“, and therefore boosting their value in our mind. This is also why someone who “breadcrumbs” you, in other words only contacts you every once in awhile, can get you addicted to them as well.

3. If you have a pattern of wanting people that are either taken or hard to actually be with in a relationship you may have a fear of your relationships failing. In other words you put yourself in a position where you never actually get together with the person so it can never really fail, thereby avoiding heartbreak, humiliation, social judgement from friends and family. You may have to face the beliefs as to why you don’t actually want to be in a real relationship due to fears of it failing. For this I recommend theta healing, which works on fears and beliefs on a subconscious level, which I can provide over distance on my website: www.mediumandreaknight.com

4. You get more of a rush mentally with dopamine when you have a roller coaster ride relationship than with a steady one. If you fantasize or are around that person for a shorter period of time you get that jolt of dopamine and then you leave them it allows you to reset so when you come back to them you get that jolt of dopamine again. To stay with them for a longer period of time where it is consistently good doesn’t give you that rush of dopamine after a period of absence.

5. Something feels unresolved or incomplete after you’ve been chasing them for a while? Maybe it feels unbalanced and you want it to feel equal. If you look up the reciprocity principal as I learned in Marketing, people feel obligated to return a favor. In this case you may have given this person a lot of attention, a lot of energetic love, and a lot of your mental time. Your brain wants something back in other words you want reciprocity. The unfortunate instance here is that you just may not get it back. What I recommend is a grief healing to get you to acceptance which I can also provide through my energy healing services on my website. www.mediumandreaknight.com

Recommendations:

1. Compartmentalize – this is a coping mechanism that helps you to focus on things like work and other areas of your life while shelving your romantic life for a while. It helps you not lose your life while you are thinking about or feeling stuck on another person.
2. Watch something that puts you in a better mood – for me this is youtube videos on comedy, interviews with mentors or animals. Get out of depression and feeling spent or empty from giving them so much love and attention and receiving little back.
3. Date other people – know you’re worth it and receive some of those compliments you are giving to someone else.
4. Work on yourself – psychologically and metaphysically, change how you see the situation. Someone treating you like crud should not be attractive and shouldn’t pull you towards them, instead know intellectually why this is happening to you by reading articles like this or books so when you encounter it you can change the situation and bring someone to you that treats you better. Go to my website, I provide theta healing which work on the fears and beliefs that sabotage you. Www.mediumandreaknight.com

Other reads:

+ Attached by Levine, Amir find at amazon.com

+ Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by Gray, John PhD

Soul Mates and the Stages of Grief

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Sometimes all you have to do is go through a rejection by someone in order to enter into a grieving period. Many of my clients have been rejected by those they feel are either their soulmates or twin flames. I’ve noticed that many people go through the stages of grief when they are rejected by someone they are attracted to, interested in or in love with. The problem is I don’t think they recognize that are going through the stages, instead they’re just feeling they’re emotions and reacting.

The denial stage is obvious. It’s essentially when you’re in denial and you can’t believe what just happened to you. Sometimes there’s a shock stage before denial but the denial stage is very real. It prevents you from seeing what is really happening, often times our ego wall might come up and we won’t see from the other person’s perspective. Next comes anger which is usually from being in a place of the ego reacting to getting rejected and trying to make up another story (they have issues, it is their fault, something is wrong with them) as well as lashing out at whoever rejected you. This can be in varying degrees, some people may not get that angry and instead get sad (low self esteem) and some people might start thinking about revenge. Bargaining comes around when someone often thinks that this is the only one they have a chance to be with or they’re not going to find someone else that they have a strong feelings for, which is not true, we have multiple soul mates. This can be a very embarrassing, uncomfortable stage that I don’t wish on anyone. They may turn to God or psychics for extreme solutions that they may feel embarrassed about later or when they realize what they asked for or tried to do. During this stage I will often put them in their love-interest shoes. I ask them how would you like it if somebody tried to force you to love them using God or spirits if you were not initially interested? They all calm down at that point and answer that they wouldn’t like it very much. It is an eye opener.

Then I usually share with them a more realistic solution. There’s some excellent books out there such as “The Like Button” that tells you how to gradually get somebody to be more comfortable in your presence or be curious about you. A lot of times this is just being around them, being in the same room, not necessarily always talking to them. A great way to explain this is to use the example of a deer and a bunny in a prairie. When the bunny first enters the prairie the deer might get spooked and run off. Overtime the bunny continues to enter the prairie but stays at a distance, not threatening the deer. This lets the deer know that the bunny is not dangerous because over time the bunny is not actually doing anything harmful. Slowly, the bunny can get closer without spooking the deer. I highly recommend “The Like Button” as well as Dale Carnegie’s “How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Some people may get spooked when you first show that you’re interested in them but it is possible to come back in a less scary manner and over time they can become curious about you, and more comfortable around you. You may become friends or you may become something more, this may just depend on a number of variables on both sides.

If you feel like you’re going through any of these stages of grief I highly recommend that you go through a healing process where you can get to the acceptance stage. I usually call an ascended Master such as Jesus, Mary, or Buddha as well as Archangel Artiya’il while laying down on my bed and ask them to help me get to the acceptance stage with whatever I’m struggling with at that time. Wait and feel much of the healing at the bottom of your lungs to clear before returning to your day.  When the soreness or feeling in your lungs dissipate the healing is done.  This can help push you past the stages of bargaining, anger and depression and into a more peaceful place. When you get to this peaceful place you no longer feel this urge or anguish over wanting to change the situation at any means possible. The sadness and depression go away. Then you’re more open to other options and no longer have that heart block that prevents you from seeing them or considering them.

If you need more help go to the top toolbar, I have different psychic reading options for you so you can talk to me in person, over the phone, or Skype/text chat.

Psychic Medium Andrea

Grounding, Basics

When I first started my metaphysical journey no one really emphasized grounding. The higher chakras were the rock stars that received a lot of attention as everyone was looking to receive more higher guidence from the divine. I found that my life had shifted a lot, and prefering stability, I looked for an answer. The other common side effect of lack of grounding is a lack of mental clarity, where it is hard to concentrate and focus as you used to (light headedness). I was in finance so this was inconvenient. Here are some common symptoms:

-Loss of focus

-Feeling less intelligent

-Swift changing moods

-Hunger that can’t be satisfied

-Feeling more drained or fatigued than you’ve ever felt

-Anxieties that are not explainable

-Feeling everything and everyone around you

I talk a lot about grounding, and I’ve included additional methods and modes in the past, but I haven’t done a basic grounding blog as I figured it has been covered quite a bit on the internet. However, it has come up multiple times this past week so I decided to get it done. There are many YouTube meditations on this as well.

Do this when you get up in the morning and whenever you feel you are getting less grounded again. Grounding does not negatively affect your metaphysical abilities, think of it as you are washing them off in a waterfall, washing away the psychic “dirt” and when you come up again you can see clearer. Hopefully that helps some of you with your fears of grounding. If you have other fears of grounding, ask your archangels to heal them on all levels before you go to bed for the next 7 nights.

Method:

Close your eyes and visualize roots from the core of the earth coming up to your legs and your legs turn into a trunk of a tree. Visualize the rest of your body turn into the branches and the leaves, extending into your energy field and your energy field turning a dark green as well as the rest of your body. Dark green as in the color of spinach, as a lighter green means less grounded and can be used in readings to stay grounded and high vibrational. Ask your energies out loud to be grounded for the next 8 hours or for however long you’re going to be out and about. You should feel your feet become heavier, less light like putting on heavier boots and they should stay that way for the length of the time you ask. The other thing you can do is ask God to turn down your clairsentience to a level that’s more comfortable for you for that same amount of time so you’re not feeling the electronics, the people, the energy around you which is really too much information. I watch a hand turn a knob all the way to the left until it clicks, meaning it is turned down low or off depending on what you want. Remember you have your intuition and really that is what you want to use when you are out and about as it is less confusing. It is a “knowing” of what you want to do or go.

The other thing I recommend is use my “modes” as explained in my previous blog here: feathersinfinity.wordpress.com/2018/01/25/empathy-modes-dealing-with-your-clairsentience/

There are other guided meditations for grounding online but they do take rather a long period of time. In the morning I usually like to get going, so you can do this in the shower or in bed.

Need more help or a reading? I am an experienced psychic medium that can connect to those crossed over. Find my readings here: http://www.feathersinfinity.com/readings.html

When He’s Not Telling You How He Feels

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I do many readings for others and a lot of my readings are situations where a woman is attracted to a guy and keeps good contact with them but he’s not revealing his feelings enough to her. Clients often ask me why they have this pattern where the man is not revealing his feelings enough in the relationship. Some of this can be explained by Attachment Theory as someone is attracted to another person who is what they call an “avoidant” and it makes the client very anxious waiting for some sort of validation of his feelings in a verbal sense. Also look into your past. Were you ever in a situation where someone expressed emotion from the get-go and you were turned off and even ran away? Did you find yourself saying things like “oh he’s needy”, “oh he’s insecure”, “he’s desperate” or “he’s a stalker”. Be careful what you’re telling the universe when you are approached by someone who is open with emotion who does let you know how they feel. If you feel negatively about someone who expresses themselves openly then that in a way can explain why you’re in the situation you are in. If you’re attracted to those who do not openly express emotion in the beginning and turned off by those who do openly express emotion you may continue to be in relationships with those that have trouble expressing affection and love.

Some clients ask me how do I stop this pattern of being with these guys that don’t openly express their feelings. My recommendation is two fold. First reverse you’re thinking and reactions when you encounter someone who openly shows emotion. If you find yourself taking a step back in fear the problem may not be the person that is expressing themselves; it may be time to look at why you’re uncomfortable with someone showing you affection. The second recommendation is to look for either a behavioral psychiatrist who can do some sort of hypnotherapy on your subconscious or a Theta healer who essentially does the same thing but on multiple metaphysical levels including past lives, soul level, current life and genetic levels. My own Theta Healing also concentrates on the mind or mental level as well as the Akashic records. Theta healing removes the negative beliefs and fears that cause you to react this way and replaces them with something more positive and in line with what you really want.  I was led to add mental and akashic records healing to my Theta while doing readings for others and seeing the need. If you’d like to look at some of my energy healing options feel free to look on my website here www.feathersinfinity.com/energy-healing.html.  They can be done over the phone or in person just as effectively.  I also do Mediumship readings here: www.feathersinfinity.com/readings.html.

Energy Healer Paradox: How to Stop Attracting more of What or Who you don’t want

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Have you noticed since your spiritual awakening and healing path you continue to have relationships with those who drag you down or need healing? Do you just want a relationship with someone that has their “stuff” together and not in need?

I’ve been energy healing for years, and much of my readings/healing are about relationships. I found the same pattern occurring in my life where those I would date or court me would be people that would either show me things I needed to heal or need healing themselves. I knew there were people out there in better places in their lives and after so much healing over many years I knew I should be attracting someone great that didn’t drag me down.

During a reading for a client the answer was revealed to me by the angels. We put so much action, thought, and energy into healing, we were attracting more healing, either of ourselves or others. Remember, Law of Attraction. So essentially I and this other healer were attracting more people who could show us what we needed to heal or people who we could heal.

Healers: time to take back your life. You want the life you were healing for, not to be constantly healing. It is good to heal. Realize that if you get into the position of continually healing your life you are putting energy into “my relationships aren’t good enough”, “my life needs healing”, “I need to heal my life to feel better”, “my life isn’t good enough yet so I need to heal it”, “I’m not good enough” or “my life isn’t good enough yet”.

Solutions / Alternative actions:

  • Take a break from healing for a while. Let the dust settle and enjoy the benefits. Notice the positive changes and concentrate on them. Do lists or meditations on what is going right in your life, not into what needs to improve.
  • Get into a meditative state, and visualize you’re sitting across from God and ask God to pull the energy you’ve put into things/people not going right in your life and replace with better energy, such as “my life is great”. I visualized this as a cloud of black/brown energy, God removing it, transforming it into a little green cloud in a large vat of green transmuting energy, and then replacing it where it was taken from with a new set of green energy.
  • Then take time to visualize your life going great right now. This can be a combination of you visualizing what is actually going right as well as things that you wish were going well as if they were. Visualize your goals becoming true now. You’ve put so much thought into what is not right, time to put on the brakes and go in a better direction. When I type this I see a car going down a dusty, rough, long road into grey energy, and turning 90 degrees onto a road with a bright horizon and beautiful colors.
  • If you continue to heal do the above steps again every once and awhile to correct your course. I try to visualize my day going well and smoothly every morning.

New healer’s tip: I’ve noticed lately with big projects where you are healing something with a large surface area it is helpful to “zoom out”, perceive this “problem” as small, then it is easier for the energy to transform because you’ve gotten around the belief that this issue is too big, but rather it is small. Then zoom back in on the energy and see the energy transformed but at a faster pace because you perceived it as small. Think of how big the universe is, and then mentally realize that this issue, or opportunity area, is actually quite small for God to heal.

Do Nothing: Finding Peace

This past weekend I was doing theta healing on myself, and I was going through areas to work on. At some point I was asked what I wanted. I thought peace.

At some point we’d like to just chill. Not stress, not worry, not feel an obligation to be productive. As I am told by my guides & angels, “to do nothing”. Then when I make up in my mind that I will do nothing, this is “do nothing time”, I relax.

The healing visualization I wanted to impart to you that was clairvoyantly given to me was to imagine a white bubble around yourself and energies. Imagine a dove on it, and the word peace written on it. Relax your muscles and tell yourself this is do nothing time and concentrate on the white dove bubble.

Second, imagine God removing all energies you’ve picked up or absorbed around the world. Friends, family, soul mates, places. Imagine God releasing them back to where they came from. Then imagine God replacing in you and your energy field green calming energy that is now your own. Say please and thank you God.

Do you need a reading or some more healing advice? You can find me on my webpage and get a reading with me at http://www.feathersinfinity.com!

Why is he not calling and what you can do about it. Attachment Theory

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Are you stuck in an unequal relationship that displays any of these characteristics:

– He doesn’t follow up with contact
– He doesn’t initiate enough or give you enough attention
– He isn’t expressing his feelings but you can tell he has them
– You find yourself in cycles of push/pull, hot/cold, chase/run

I highly recommend this book on attachment theory. It discusses each of the types and how to best deal with their behaviorial issues.

It talks about both perspectives, why you are stuck having feelings for this person who doesnt give you enough love back and why they are pulling away, occasionally coming back to string you along. While there may be deeper metaphysical issues as well which we can discuss in a reading here : www.feathersinfinity.com, this book does give some great pointers on what to heal as well as how to react to your love interest. Sometimes knowing why they are acting this way helps us to react less emotionally and take it less personally.

The books discusses 3 types, the anxious, the stable and the avoidant.

In summary (we can be a mix of any 3 of these):

  • The anxious – This person is always wondering why he doesnt call, why he doesnt initiate the dates or contact enough, and feels they are constantly chasing someone who does not show enough appreciation for them. However they find themselves in love with the other party, stuck in an unending cycle, hoping he’ll change. Often times lack of action from their love interest ruins their day or part of their day and can be a source of anxiety for the person.
  • Avoidant – An avoidant personality wants to maintain their independence, is afraid of getting hurt but tries not to show it, and often pulls away for a time until they miss a person and then pop back into the love interests life when they feel ready. They are consistantly inconsistant, they think people should hide their emotions and have difficulty expressing themselves. They have deep feelings too but try to push them away and control them due to lack of trust.
  • Stable – This is the personality type that we hope to achieve, a good balance of empathy to know when your partner needs affection and attention, expressing their own emotions and is able to be more vulnerable on a healthy way with their partner. Stable people can be with all 3 personalities because they have the wisdom and empathy to understand the others’ point of view and can tend to their needs without as much emotional turmoil.

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Empathy modes, dealing with your clairsentience

There are few books out there, but not many, that tell you how to best deal with your clairsentience. Especially those of us that went through Reiki 2 and became Reiki Masters the additional energy we feel and information we receive can be TMI sometimes. There is one thing I do in the morning and that is I ask my energies, and yes I talk directly to my energies, to not feel the negative energy in the environment around me, the spiritual beings with vibrations less than my angels and guides around me, the EMF, static electricity, radiation around me, or the people’s energy around me for the next 24 hours. End in please and thank you for intention. Usually I wait for some sort of acknowledgement such as a green check mark clairvoyantly or a change in my feelings. When doing this you’re still intuitive and your angels can help you out to keep you safe and protected but you don’t need to feel everything around you at all times to be safe.

The other thing I recommend is to go into what I call “Modes”. These are essentially different grounding methods depending on the situation you’re about to enter or be in. Ask God to put you in these modes before you engage in each of these activities.

Reading Mode – after I’m done with a reading as well as when I wake up in the morning I ask God to take me out of reading mode. This makes me less sensitive to the energies around me that I don’t really need to be feeling and helps you feel more grounded and safe. I also find that you’re automatically put into reading mode once you ask God to help you do a reading so I don’t feel like you have to ask to be put in reading mode but I do ask to be taken out of it in the best highest way for me. End with please and thank you for intention.

Travel mode – for any of you in the metaphysical fields that can feel the EMF, static electricity, and radiation around you, planes and airports are not always fun. However, I was told intuitively or clairvoyantly to ask to be put into travel mode before I go on my trip. When I did this I became even more grounded then when I ask to be taken out of reading mode. I can also focus more and have more mental clarity. This is essentially “super ground” you so you’re not feeling everybody’s “stuff” and not as fearful.

Corporate or Work mode – if you have found after your spiritual awakening and Reiki training you can focus less at work and you feel more fatigued this is because you’re feeling the negative energy in the environment around you, as well as all the energy coming from electronics. You don’t need all of this information and it really is TMI not to mention it disrupts your attention span. I would highly recommend asking God to put you in some sort of “work mode”, it could even be the travel mode shown above, so you can focus more at work and have more mental clarity. Also people around you irritate you less as you really don’t need that information. Sometimes their energy maybe off for reasons that have nothing to do with work and may have to do with their personal life so it’s not always useful information.

You will still have your intuition in any of these modes. Don’t forget to use affirmations on intelligence and mental clarity for an additional boost in these areas.

Want more advice tailored to your situation from your angels and guides? Go to my website and set up a reading with me at www.FeathersInfinity.com.

When you love someone so strongly and they don’t love you back

I was going through a reading and I was reminded of situations where someone will see through to someone’s soul and love them so completely but the other person does not feel the same. It was shown to me clairvoyantly and intuitively what happens. Essentially the one that falls hard and feels the unconditional love for the other person sees straight through all the outer facades, layers, thoughts about self, egos and into their soul. It was explained to me that the soul is more pure and without much of the other cultural facades we put up to fit in. It is essentially a soul loving another soul, piercing through all that other stuff. Unfortunately for me this has happened multiple times where I see through people, see their potential when they do not. Thank goodness, the most recent time it happened, I was able to recover very quickly, let go and move on better. Note that I’ve been doing energy healing for years and working on myself, I know this isn’t easy without those tools. However, what I did was express my feelings quickly rather than tucking them away for years. Once I got the feelings out, I felt infinitely better (this doesnt mean they’ll be mutually interested btw, they are probably not seeing as deeply as you). The reasoning I saw during a reading for someone else was that they were not doing the same, essentially not seeing through to the soul and experiencing the same level of feelings. This happens a lot, it’s not just you and me. I know this because I do readings most days. If you can’t express your feelings to the other person because of fear of rejection (it really helps to work on this – contact me for theta healing. It affects more than just relationships) then write your feelings down and burn them if you don’t feel it will work out for one reason or another. Then pray and ask God to help you move on in the best and highest way for you. Ask God for the suffering to stop. Know that the lesson in these cases, that I have received in my readings, is to know that we are all connected, to become closer to the Divine and spirituality.

Need more tips or a personal reading? Go to Www.feathersinfinity.com